Reacting to it's diminished message of 'social change & redistribution of wealth', struggling TV network CNBC has picked up a new 8 part series staring the red headed defrocked Russian spy, Anna Chapman!
Titled "Anna Chapman's Siberia" the travelogue showcases Anna talents as a fearless hunter, behind the controls of a T-34 Tank, as the Pilot of a Mig 25 Fox Fire jet, the cool captain of a Nuclear submarine, a lab technician shown mixing potent plutonium cocktails, and as a seductress wooing a bisexual British MP.
CNBC negotiated the rights to the filming in Russia after being recognized by Pravda as 'the journalistic media which best understands and promotes Russia's unflagging pursuit of excellence in journalism, transparency in government, and the uneven distribution of wealth with a top down economic model of Mafia efficiency."
Chris Matthews, of Hair Ball fame, is said to be set to do the narration, with Keith Olbermann penciled in to provide comic relief between commercials for Viagra.
Chapman, 28, is now the most popular former female spy in Russia after being "given a second chance" by President Barack Obama after being caught up and 'sent home' with 9 other 'sleeper' agents in the US in an espionage scandal.
Anna was recently feted as "Woman of the Year" in Russia and appeared live on TV for the first time, an event seen by 70M inebriated Russians who had no choice as all other channels were blacked out for the event.
In addition to starring in the docu-drama, Chapman has a 'lingerie' shoot coming up, which is sure to thrill her fans accustomed to viewing a bevy of nude photos of her on line.
Since being personally welcomed back to Mother Russia by Vladmir Putin, Anna has secured a prestigious position in a leading bank specializing in laundering oil and drug money. As CFO she has been put in charge of accounting using an ingenious scheme involving invisible ink, a dyslectic code to confuse bank auditors, an is not above bestowing sexual favours on inquisitive tax agents.
Chapman also plays a significant roll in Putin's political party "United Russia" and is in charge of grooming attractive young females who want to 'live the Russian Dream" of "F****g For Fame & Glory" in today's Russian Society.
There is further talk that yet another US TV channel is interested in using Anna in a spin off reality show where gorgeous Russian spies in training are all housed in a 10 room mansion while they undergo advanced training in seduction targeting fat, rumpled English MP's who just happen to have 'mushy peas' for brains.
The Kremlin is said to be ecstatic over the plans, and crowed that President Obama had called Putin on New Year's Eve congratulating him on giving Chapman "a second chance."
According to Putin's spokesman, Obama said, "I wish the folks in the US were as forgiving as the leadership in Russia. We just don't give convicted murderers over here enough of a chance to prove themselves, something that I will be addressing as we head into 2011
which I'm going to call "The Year of Forgiveness" to mark the cornerstone of my agenda for my last 2 years in office!"