NEW YORK - Steve Jobs opened his new iChurch in the city of Manhattan on thier Seventh Avenue store.
The iChurch is only open for those who own at least two iDevices for at least two years. The church has opened in Apple Stores across the world.
"The iChurch," said Steve Jobs. "It will not turn anyone away, unless you don't have an iMac, Pod, Phone, Pad or TV. Only $29.99pm."
Already 2,000 people have joined the 7th Avenue church. There are over 12,000 in Europe, and 9,000 in Asia.
"Oh my god!" said one iFollower. "My religion has better protection from attacks than your religion! My religion is so much cooler!"
However, terrorist attacks by iFollowers have occured. In Miami, iTerrorists blew up a charged iPad in a Best Buy, killing 200 people. Also 98 were injured and 2,500 devices are non-functional.
"The Apple is a curse!" said a right-winger. "It is melting our youngsters minds and will attack democracy, and our way of life!" Sadly, many people listened to him.
Steve Jobs said this: "There are a few faulty iFollowers. We cannot guarantee that they will all be tiptop. If you do have any concerns about the iFollower, please return to sender."