Washington, DC - Hillary Clinton has quit her job as Secretary of State. The teary-eyed former First Lady walked into the Oval Office and gave her resignation to President Obama this morning with a shaky, emotional voice.
"I quit!" she blubbered. "I just can't take this anymore, I think I'm having a nervous breakdown!" she screamed, and then broke down in sobs in front of the startled president.
"You can't quit, you're fired!" shouted President Obama. "You're the worst secretary I've ever had. You can't do shorthand, you only type 20 words a minute, and you can't even make a cup of coffee! Go clean your desk and get out!" he ordered.
Hillary's face turned crimson with shame. Fat tears ran down her swollen face as she ran back to her desk. All her co-workers heard the emotional outburst, and looked at her with sadistic amusement and glee.
On the way back to her desk, Hillary passed the extremely effeminate Secretary of Defense, Robert (Bobbie) Gates. He was just dying to dish the dirt on Hillary, and began to gossip to the others.
"She's the worst secretary here, and I am just so sick of covering for her!" he lisped. Bobbie adjusted his pale-blue sweater and checked his make-up with a mirror, and began to gossip some more.
"She never bothered to learn her job. She couldn't even file--didn't even know the alphabet!" he giggled. "I heard her husband likes blow-jobs." said Bobbie. He checked his red lipstick in a mirror and puckered his lips.
Hillary threw some stuff from her desk into a box, and walked out the door. Her beat-red face was still streaked with tears, and she hung her head down with shame. She looked back at the Whitehouse with anger as she walked down Pennsylvania Avenue.
"One day I'll be back. I'll run for president, and fire all my nasty, co-workers. See you all in 2012!" she vowed.