Upon hearing the smirking Press Secretary say that the President was disappointed that he will not be able to show them his original birth certificate as promised, Birthers were outraged and skeptical of this latest attempt by the President to circumvent their request to see the original documentation of his birth.
Reading from a prepared statement, Gibbs said that "the President had requested the Director of Hawaii Department of Health to release his 'original birth certificate' to him while he was vacationing in Hawaii. This certificate was personally delivered to Obama, Christmas Day, by Chiyama Fukino, the Director."
"The President," Gibbs continued, "placed the document on his desk, and to his utter amazement, Bo, his Portuguese Water Dog, jumped up and grabbed the paper and ran off with it. By the time Secret Service Agents caught the mischevious mutt, he had chewed up and swallowed the document."
Up until now, only the long form birth certificate had been released. But claims that it had been digitally forged led Birthers to demand that he release his "original" 1961 birth certificate. Outraged by this totally unbelievable explanation, one Birther requested that Bo's stomach be dissected to see if the document could be saved.
"If it were up to me," the President declared, I would do it. However, Bo belongs to my daughters, and they will not consent to allow this. Sorry, But that's the way it is."