Written by Jean Le Fete
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Thursday, 23 December 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan To Accuser: "I Shirley Wasn't Drinking...Shirley Temples..."
Shirley Temple Smoothie?

LAX - Lindsay Lohan's Mom says her daughter has been taken totally out of context in an attempt to smear her daughter's reputation.

"She saw her drinking a colorful looking drink and jumped to the conclusion it was alcohol, when in fact it was a smoothie. My daughter was not drunk!" said Dina Lohan, "Her behavior was not from drinking, she was just being her normal rude self!"

"Holland claimed Lindsay and friends jumped a ten foot wall, trying to get inside the place she was staying unnoticed. Unfortunately they landed on a security guard whom Holland was French kissing at the time. That's when Lindsay became belligerent and started swearing up a storm about improper French kissing. She really hates seeing it done improperly and she was merely offering to demonstrate it done properly. The whole thing is just a misunderstanding."

The Betty White clinic fired Holland for violating patient confidentiality and attempting to administer a vajazzle to calm the patient down. "Vajazzle Calming" is a relatively new and unheard of treatment offered only when patients are suspected of drinking Shirely Temples.

"I wasn't drinking a Shirley Temple," claims Lohan, "It was a smoothie and I waS BUZZZED on sugar at the time."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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