Socialite and sex tape star Paris Hilton has been sent to a North Korean labour camp after trying to become Kim Jong-Il's best friend.
Ms Hilton wanted to become the North Korean dictator's friend after hearing about his vast fortune, luxury homes, lavish parties and impressive entourage. She had also heard about how "super-popular" Kim Jong-Il is to the North Korean people.
However, her plan to become his best friend failed spectacularly after Paris started singing pro-American songs while drunk and partying with Kim Jong-Il and his crew.
When being sent to the labour camp Paris questioned Kim Jong-Il's actions saying "it was like totally unfair". But this angered the "dear leader" more who increased Hilton's labour camp sentence.
News of Paris Hilton's sentence has spread to the White House with Kim Jong-Il leaving the following message for President Barack Obama:
"Fucka you Obama and fucka you America. I haba Paris Hirton, the symbor of America capitarism. You wirr withdraw your support from South Korea or Ms Hirton wirr be kirred."
The President has since responded with the following statement:
"I honestly don't care you stupid little man. No-one likes her anyway."
Following Obama's response, Paris Hilton sent an urgent message to all her followers via Twitter pleading with them to rescue her from North Korea. However, Hilton's followers are not the smartest and think North Korea is ten miles outside Las Vegas.