Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: Gay, John Travolta

Friday, 17 December 2010

image for John Travolta Is Angry As Hell At Carrie Fisher For Saying That He Should Announce He's Gay
John Travolta at the age of 12, playing the childrens game 'Witness Protection Program.'

SWEET LIPS, Tennessee - John Travolta was visiting an old high school friend, Prentice Paddywhack, who lives in Sweet Lips Tennessee, when he learned about the comment that the former Princess Leia, aka Carrie Fisher had made about him being the type of individual that rides sidesaddle.

Travolta responded by saying that he has ridden horses dozens of times and that not once has he ever ridden one sidesaddle.

He explained that once while filming The Damn Desperate Desperadoes of Durango up in Bison Bitch, Wyoming that he actually rode a horse backwards, but that does not in any way, shape, or form imply or signify that he was, is, or wants to be a sissy cowpoke.

Johnny Boy-Boy, as Prentice calls him, said that ever since that dumb, stupid movie Brokeback Mountain came out that a lot of people have symbolically asked him if he perfers hot dogs to donuts.

Travolta quipped that he not only perfers donuts but that he perfers several donuts at the same time. He paused for a moment and then quickly added that his multiple donut desire was one he had way before he was married of course.

The star of Saturday Night Fever, Urban Cowboy, and My Queer Uncle Rexy, suggested that perhaps something has happened to Carrie Fisher's brain due to the extremely tight way she wore her hair when she was filming the Star Wars motion pictures.

Travolta did mention that his personal pedicurist Brucey The Sissified Pedicurist had confided in him that he knows for a fact that Fisher has an extremely large clitoris, which he disclosed is bigger than Jon Gosselin's bibbidy boo (wienie).

Meanwhile in Sports news. The Los Angeles Lakers have acknowledged that they have officially dropped their intention of trading Kobe Bryant to the Cleveland Cavaliers who are currently 7 and 18, in exchange for the entire Cavaliers starting lineup, $29 million cash, and the exclusive fishing rights to Lake Erie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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