Philadelphia Eagles Quarterback Michael Vick says he is so eager to own a pet dog again that he'd be willing to enter a 12-step rehabilitation program where he could "work my way up a ladder of other pets before regaining the right to own a dog," he suggested.
"Start me with a canary," proposed the football star that spent two years in prison for running dogfights in which dogs that did not perform up to Vick's standards were electrocuted, hanged and drowned.
"That's all in the past," Vick announced, "I really love dogs now. Just give me another chance," he pleaded.
"I promise to be nice to the parade of nice pets I envision meeting on my self-proposed rehab program. I'll even let a judge decided the order of the pets. I'd even start with a badger or some other really nasty animal to show how kind toward all animals I have become," said the teary-eyed football star.
"Besides, do you know how hard it is to electrocute a badger? Well, I do, and it's real rough. On the other hand, badger meat is very tasty. Much better than dog," Vick declared.