NEW YORK CITY - Heidi Montag was in New York City on a Christmas shopping trip. She told her cousin Mavis Frackenhaus that she had received a call from an unnamed New York Yankees player.
Montag informed Mavis that the nameless player had asked to meet her at the luxuriously exquisite Hotel St. Pumpernickel. He mentioned that he would be bringing along three fellow Yankee teammates.
When Heidi asked what his intention was the secret pin-stripped ballplayer replied that he had seen her on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and heard her talk about the 38 cosmetic surgeries that she'd had.
The Yankee player said that he and the other three sports figures wanted to simply talk to her about the various costs involved in the different types of breast enhancements that were available for their wives and/or girlfriends.
Montag responded by agreeing to meet with them and to provide them with all the pertinent information that they needed.
Heidi said that when she arrived at the hotel she was instantly taken up to the $1,300 a night Presidential Suite by one of the bell hops. As she entered the room she noticed that all four players were sitting around in their underwear.
She smiled, introduced herself, and commented that she had always been a big fan of the New York Yankees team. One of the players, who said his nickname was "Wild Pitch" stated that they had heard her mention to DeGeneres that ever since she had broken up with Spencer (Pratt) that she had not had any sex whatsoever.
Another player, who said his nickname was "The Bat" told her that today was her lucky day because she was going to get ravished by not one, not two, not three, but by four New York Yankees.
Heidi responded by saying that she had lied and that she was not really a New York Yankees fan at all. They did not believe her. They told her that she was just saying that.
She smiled and unbuttoned her jeans. Their eyes got the size of ping pong balls in anticipation. She unzipped her jeans and pulled them down to mid-thigh.
The four Yankee players' mouths dropped as they saw that Heidi was wearing a pair of string bikini thongs with the Boston Red Sox logo on the bikini front.
"The Bat" grinned and said that he did not care and that he was still going to hit a "Home Run." Heidi reached in her purse and took out a photo. She showed it to the four Yankees. They handed it back to her, they quickly got dressed, and all four left immediately.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Heidi had shown the four players a photo of her sitting on the lap of Mafia Boss Salvatore "The Pizza Man" Goombalini, head of New York's notorious Goombalini Family. On the photo Sal had written: To Heidi - Hey Babe, anyone bothers ya - Ya justa tell old Sal and I'll have 'em fed to da Easta River Fishes, Love 4 Ever, Your Pal, Sal].