Written by Gail Farrelly
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Sunday, 12 December 2010

image for Squeegee Guys in Manhattan Hired to Do TSA-style Pat Downs of Taxi Passengers
Get a pat down and a ride.

They used to rush up to cars stopped at red lights and do a quick squeegee wash of the windshield, hoping for a nice tip.

Sometimes they got what they wanted. Other times they just earned themselves complaints. But now they've moved on to a more lucrative market. With payment up front for their services. There's cash involved in retiring their squeegees.

Here's the scoop. Taxi drivers are concerned about the possibility of suicide bombers, so they think it makes sense to hire the squeegee guys to perform TSA-style pat downs of taxi passengers.

Passengers are not especially pleased at having their crotches and other bodily parts groped on the streets of Manhattan, but most seem to be willing to just go with the flow. One passenger reports, though, that he's observed that fewer folks are now interested in taxi transport. The passenger remarked, "Since the pat downs have gone into effect, I've had fewer smackdowns with other guys trying to grab a cab."

Needless to say, the squeegee guys are delighted to have moved on to steady employment. And as one pointed out: "Who would have thought I'd be paid to cop a feel, right in the middle of Times Square? Yippee!"

As the Scottish proverb goes: "It's an ill wind that blows naebody any good."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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