Interim President Barrack Hussein Obama was forced to admit what everyone has learned in the past two disastrous years of his Presidency: He just wasn't ready for Prime Time, a fact that led to his removal from the oval office after a bloodless coup by ranking Democrats!
After a closed door caucus that lasted through the night, rank (sic) Democratic Kingmakers emerged to announce that 'due to family issues, personal health and a severe learning disability, the President, Barack Hussein Obama, has reluctantly decided to stand aside for the country he loves, and turn over leadership to a true American Patriot, William Jefferson Clinton! The Commander in chief has abdicated , LONG LIVE BUBBA!"
The shocking decision was verified after a crestfallen, morose Obama was forced to turn over leadership reins to the former President in a public press conference, where no questions were permitted, before retiring to the White House and begin packing.
Clinton, the serial womanizer who refuses to be humiliated despite reports of his bedside manner, appeared gracious in receiving the mantle from House majority leader Nancy Pelosi and Senate leader Harry Reid who just won reelection by promising his Las Vegas casino owners he would be pushing for on line gambling and union membership for all illegal aliens.
While Republican Parliamentarians said Clinton is term limited, they seemed stymied after Attorney General Eric Holder said in his final speech before stepping down and returning to Harvard as a Civil Rights lecturer, that Clinton's appointment would be legal due to the severe "national emergency" caused by the ineffectual leadership of Obama which is threatening the security of the country here and abroad.
Despite Clinton's cheesy history, his sham marriage, and opportunistic wife, Hillary, now Secretary of State, pundits said that if Bill was to run for President again, he would be elected by an overwhelming majority of the populace, with a mandate from Black's, Hispanics, menopausal women, gays, transexuals, and White House interns, provided they were old enough to vote, although authenticating absentee ballots has never been a problem for the Libs.
Liberal politicians and kingmakers looked on with approval as Clinton endorsed the passage of the extension of the Bush Tax Cuts, recommended by all students of economics, while approving the considerable amount of Pork that was added on to appease power hungry politicians including extending the Ethanol subsidy to the tune of $5B on a project that even Al Gore recently admitted was 'a huge mistake.'
Meanwhile congratulations continue to pour in for Clinton from Hollywood, Venezuela, Moscow, Paris, a besieged London, and as far away as Libya where Obama has been extended a gracious offer of asylum and hospice care in his fight against terminal ineptness.
Reports coming in from the White House indicate that Michelle Obama is not taking it well, has attacked the Resolute desk with an axe, has slashed pictures of George Washington, and has even set fire to her victory garden in a scene reminiscent of the British burning the capitol in 1814! Attempts to restrain her were said to be futile, and the Secret Service was said to have had to sedate her and she is currently restrained in Walter Reed Army hospital where her condition is reported as ' well guarded.'
Monica Lewinsky is 37, has had liposuction, and was seen shopping for a new dress.