Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: rescue

Friday, 10 December 2010

image for Rescuers Use $75.00 In Quarters To Save 2-Year-Old From Crane Game
"Get. Me. The. F--K OUT OF HERE!"

Proving once again that parents believe Chuck E. Cheese is a place to bring your children and forget about them, a 2-year-old Pennsylvania girl managed to climb in to a crane game at the eatery, and could not climb back out.


I Know You're Reading This, Saturday Night Live's Head Writer Seth Meyers.
I find it very interesting that one of my jokes --including this one-- has made in onto Weekend Update twice in two weeks, and three times this season. OK, so you changed the amount to nine dollars, but you also left a subtle clue that will inculpate you: You said "Pennsylvania". Not Montgomery County, Not "King of Prussia"; "Pennsylvania". And that's how I know you stole my joke. I'm keeping my eye on you.

Fortunately, firemen were on the scene quickly, and it took them less than $75.00 in quarters to get her out.

"Grabbing the little girl just right with the crane was most important," said Chief of the Department James McTernan. "One time I got her right in the eye socket! It was hysterical! Well, not for her."

Nevertheless, rescuers were very quick in saving the now-traumatized victim.

"We were delayed slightly," said a spokesperson. "When (pointing) Firefighter Asshead over here decided to shoot for the Spongebob doll, instead of the kid."

Finally, after about an hour, the little girl was saved. Rescuers also managed to save a Zhu Zhu pet, a coupon for a knock-off iPod, and 2500 points redeemable for prizes at Sonny's & Ricky's Arcade in Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

The negligent 2-year-old's mother was grateful for the rescue.

"What happened? She got stuck in what?" asked the mother. "That little f--king idiot. I'm going to spank her little... Where'd she go?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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