After spending $120M to print brand new 'counterfeit proof' new $100 notes at twice the old price, the Treasury was forced to admit today they were scrapping all 1.1 Billion of them due to a printing error!
The error was not caught during the treasury's highly vaunted 'quality control program' as most of the government employees were either out sick, on disability, were tweeting, watching porn, or updating their social networking sites during the press run.
According to the treasury, there is an imperfection somewhere in the process where the highly sophisticated bills were somehow creased, which left a section in the middle of the bill unprinted.
The other issue, which has yet to be reported, is that Michelle Obama felt the picture of her husband Barry was unflattering, and objected to the depiction of the President smoking a joint while playing with his Blackberry.
While Treasury officials say not all the bills are flawed, it would take "20-30" years to hand check each bill, and by that time the notes would only be worth about $2.25 according to the Government Accounting Office.
Secretary of the Treasury Tim Geithner said he would go ahead and order in more 'almost perfect' hundred dollar notes produced by the North Koreans under the trade agreement negotiated by Secretary of State Hillary Clinton just a few weeks ago where the US exchanged shares of Government Motors (GM) on par for the notes.
A spokesman for the North Koreans has said after seeing the new Chevy Volt, introduced last week to tepid response, his country may want to renegotiate the deal in order to receive 'true value' for their product, rather than accept
stock in "a piece of shit company that's sure to short-out!"
Despite the loose translation, Geithner is said to be mortified that even the
North Korean's have seen through the Obama plan to fleece stock holders
and taxpayers alike and now is looking toward Supreme Soccer Kingdom, Quatar to bail out the US paper money crunch as the oil rich nation is said to be hoarding over 38% of the world's supply of $100 bills, followed only by the Mexican Drug Cartel headed by Feleipe Calderon.
Meanwhile the flawed bills are stored in Government Warehouses that are now bursting at the seams prompting one civilian watch dog agency to exclaim, "Well....it was bound to happen! It was only a matter of time before the US dollar was just fit to wipe your arse with...although that day seems to have come sooner than expected!"