Written by Spicewood
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Topics: Julian Assange

Tuesday, 7 December 2010

image for Startling Announcement
Never Again

In a startling announcement coming out of Salt Lake City this morning, Mormon Bishop Brice Peterson revealed that he was informed on Sunday that all of the information and diplomatic cables attributed to Wiki leaks and the elusive 39 year old Australian, Julian Assange, were, in fact, the figment of the imagination of Seymour Anderson, a Mormon Missionary on his mission in Cedar City, Utah.

He indicated that Seymour told him that the entire population of Cedar City were already Mormons, and in his boredom and spare time he started writing and composing imaginary diplomatic cables on his laptop, and somehow, the hacker Assange discovered them, put them on his web page, and ultimately leaked them out.

Anderson stated,"Once I got going on that stuff it just rolled out, day and night, I spent at that laptop making all that stuff up. I have a Masters Degree from BYU in International Diplomacy and Political Science and I guess I retained more than I thought I had, I certainly never thought it would come to this."

Bishop Peterson went on to say, "When those young missionaries knock at your door, invite them in, listen to their message, go through all of their lessons, keep them busy spreading the word, we don't want another of these Anderson episodes, I know that you will agree with me, won't you, get down on your knees by your bed at night and pray."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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