When President Barack Obama announced plans to move out of the White House, letting Republicans Boehner and McConnell move in for a month, demonstrating his bipartisanship compromise line in the sand...
Michelle Obama's hair exploded into flame. She picked up a table and threw it across the room at the president. The agile Obama ducked, but the ghost of Abraham Lincoln redirected the table, letting it tap the president, sending him into the Bess Truman rocking chair for a long winter's snore.
Time for an intervention, the First Lady text Vice President Joe Biden to get to the White House.
There in a flash, Biden announced he had taken the limo at 6:04, no stops, sirens blasting with police escort, making the ten mile trip to the White House, "Faster than a train..."
Told he would have to take over as Obama was across the hall in a table induced coma, Biden agreed to pull the emergency cord and put the country back on track. His new compromise line in the sand would be the third rail.
He took out a list and began working the phones. "Arrest Boehner and McConnell if they approach the White House gates with suitcases. Water-board them until they confess to being Taliban."
After extending the unemployment benefits, he announced the Bush wars in Iraq and Afghanistan over, and penalties would be imposed on Bush. Cheney and neo-cons for taking the nation into war and creating the greatest deficit in U.S. history. Pay up and go to jail.
He ordered all troops home from both countries instantly; Abu Ghraib and Gitmo closed, eliminated Don't Ask Don't Tell, signed the START Treaty, (by emergency Patriot Act executive order) put public option back into the health care measure, tax cuts for the middle class and no tax cuts for the wealthiest 2%.
Whenever Obama started to blink awake, Lincoln stepped in landing another four score.
Overnight, the country was back on track, humming like a TGV, two politicians confessing to being Taliban before the dip, and President Obama waking up and trying to recall a lingering dream about Abraham Lincoln...