Written by JAB
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Monday, 6 December 2010

image for US to Slap Sanctions on Luxury Goods to North Korea
One of many luxury items to be sanctioned against North Korea

Washington - Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton has asked the State Department to draw up a list of luxury goods to be sanctioned against North Korea. It is believed that perks and luxury goods are one of the main tools Pyongyang gives to military and party leaders to keep them in line and loyal to 'Dear Leader', Kim Jong-il.

Here is a partial list of some of the luxury gifts that the State Department says, "will sow seeds of discontent among the elite of North Korea."

Suzanne Somers Thigh Master
The Veg-O-Matic
The SaladShooter (professional model only)
GLH-9 Hair in a Can Spray
Popeil Pocket Fisherman
Smokeless Ashtray
The Clapper and the upgrade, Clapper Plus
Drain Buster
Inside-The-Shell Egg Scrambler

"But wait! There's more!"

Mighty Putty
Vidalia Slice Wizard
Awesome auger
Grater Plater
The Ding King

North Korea said that they would respond by flooding the United States with North Korean made luxury goods:

DVDs, "Deep Froat," "Debbie does Dallas and Sheboygan," "Convent Novices Gone Wild" and many more.
Viagra, Cialis and Levitra made with freeze dried prunes
Photos of Nancy Pelosi at the Democratic Convention with a donkey
Photos of Shrek with donkey
Photos of Sarah Palin at the Republican convention with an elephant
Pictures of Jackson on $20 bill, Grant on $50 and Franklin on $100
Popular cigarette brands like Old Gold, Chesterfield, Raleigh, Tareyton, and Bel-Airs

It can't be confirmed but other nations are thought to be drawing up their own list of sanctionable goods toward North Korea.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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