Washington D.C. - After the TSA's success with the Sensual Massage pat down line over Thanks Giving, they are adding another service, the Cosmetic Surgery Line.
"Get your pat down and nose job," said Lady Gaga, sporting a new look as she exited the private surgery cubicle, "This is definitely worth the extra search, a real bargain."
TSA officials claim the line is an important step in keeping the flying public happy, not just a publicity stunt. Nose jobs are running $500 a pop, while crows feet, and facial wrinkles will cost a mere $100 per side of the face.
"This is such a bargain, I cancelled my next drug bust to come here for a little work on my fanny," said Hilton, "I may get a tummy tuck in a few years, but I think I'm okay for now. They're so fast too, I think it will be very popular."
At Dulles Airport, there were 5 surgeons on hand to work on people, right next door to the Sensual Pat Down line.
Miley Cyrus was a surprise, she got into the vagazzling line. "She declined to make a public statement." said a TSA official, she was shy about it."