The US Pentagon announced that it had found the entire Afghanistan war strategy, which had been "accidentally" lost, on the Wikileaks website this week.
"Thank goodness for Wikileaks", exclaimed an exasperated General David H. Petraeus who is the commander of the US armed forces in Afghanistan and Iraq. "When we realized that the plans had disappeared, we realized that we no longer had a war strategy and that we were basically screwed. Wikeleaks saved our asses on this one".
When asked what happened to the war plans, Patraeus told us that, "we had the files in electronic form on a secure US military website. For some odd reason, the documents seemingly disappeared. Where the files were, there was a whole bunch of Lady Gaga songs, which is really weird, because none us planning the war like any of Lady Gaga's music. Hell, none of us even like Lady Gaga at all".
When asked about the extent and scope of the war plans that were put on Wikileaks and whether the plans becoming public would have compromised the US war position in both Afghanistan and Iraq, Patraeus answered: "Hell no not at all. The war plan was really nothing but a whole slew of short documents advising us to come up with a war plan. So, there was absolutely nothing compromised".
In other Wikileaks news, the Jewish, Jewish, Jewish Society announced that they had found the location "Ten Lost Tribes" of Israel. Although, no one has yet, to hear back from them, as it appears the society has gotten lost trying to find them.
While many other items, also, showed up on Wikileaks, there were two things that were surprisingly missing. They were: Jimmy Hoffa and intelligence.