Stonehenge - (Ballistic Mess): The secret Presidential executive order during the Lewinsky impeachment trial was successfully intercepted by UK intelligence.
GCHQ monitors moved quickly to order the deployment of a anti-nuke shield downloaded from the Salisbury Plain UFO silo.
Clinton had twice visited the retro-engineered spaceship bunker during UK visits in 1995 and 96.
During the first trip he attempted to sequester the craft with a Pentagon repo order - described by the MoD as 'a load of meaningless, psychotic cack'.
The transcript of these records was published today by the Wikileaks cyber-whistleblowing site.
It describes NATO's assessment of the president as paranoid, menacing and teeming with bullshit.
A second visit saw the President attempt forceful seizure of security protocols guarding the alien craft.
He was repulsed yet again by wily Brit generals who easily called his bluff.
Unresolved Whitewater issues 'about Vince Foster's suicide cover-up' eventually persuaded Clinton to back down from his manic obsession.
But the President remained paranoid about NATO authority that's kept UK boffins' retro-engineering of an alien space ship secret from the Pentagon.
The whistleblower transcripts also claimed today Clinton's real paranoia may be about an data bank decrypted from the craft's archives.
This details the identity of a 20th century paedo cult that seized power on Earth through the mass rape, torture and execution of witnesses who threatened to out the 'Demon Seed'.
Chelsea Clinton's fledgeling pregnancy may be announced next week in a spoiler campaign to deflect international media wrath.
Additional reporting by Our Man In Kabulshit.