George Bush has told his wife Laura that there is no way he is going to accompany her to any ballet, let alone a ballet titled the Nutcracker.
"Is she nuts? Said George, who added "no pun intended, heh heh heh."
It is common knowledge that Laura Bush and even George's mother, Barbara Bush, has been trying every year to get George to attend the Nutcracker Ballet but to no avail.
"Have you seen the guys in those ballets? What do you call them balleriners, or something like that?" They wear those tights and you can see all their junk right out there in front of them. If I wanted to see that, I'd watch Showtime After Dark," said George, stifling the giggle he's so famous for.
"Dick Cheney told me they're all queer anyways. He told me if he ever saw me going to one of them fancy ballet performances, he'd beat me up. And if you knew Dick like I know Dick, you'd stay away from the ballet too."
Bush plans on staying home and watching reruns of "The Andy Griffith Show" instead. Says Bush, "That Barney Fife is one funny feller and I don't need to see him wearing tights to know that."