Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 4 December 2010

image for Sarah Palin Is Furious At American Idol For Turning Down Piper Palin
The scene looking out from Piper's bedroom. She says that Russia is on the left and North Korea is on the right.

WASILLA - Well it appears as if the "Mama Grizzly" has her claws out.

Sarah Palin, the former governor of Alaska, who resigned the job that the citizens of Alaska voted her to do, so that she could star in her very own reality show, Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska says that she is one very, very upset hockey mom with cheap dollar store lipstick.

It seems that the producers of American Idol Simon Shindlebocker and Kyle Boot turned Piper Palin down from auditioning for the upcoming season of American Idol.

Shindlebocker stated that Piper Palin is underage. He said that she is only 9-years-old and the AI rules and bylaws clearly state that a contestant must be at least 16-years-old.

Piper was so upset that she hollered out that (AI judge) J-Lo's ass is so big it could feed a pack of polar bears for two weeks.

She then said that Steven Tyler's lips are so big that he probably goes thru three chapsticks a day.

Little Piper, who is certainly a tomboyish Palin woman like her mom, and sisters, Bristol "The Pistol" and Willow "The Pillow" then turned her little Alaskan schoolgirl wrath towards the third judge Randy Jackson.

She said that Randy Jackson calls himself the "Black Dawg" but as far as she is concerned he is nothing but a "Black P*ssy."

Ryan Seacrest overheard her and he told her that a little 9-year-old girl should not be talking that way and that it was ugly, vulgar, and downright disgusting.

Piper stood up on a chair, got in Ryan's face, and said "Ya know what's disgusting Seacrab? It's you gosh darnit, acting like a Hostess Twinkies over-dosed Clay Aiken."

Seacrest called security and he had little Piper led away. He told her mother that if he ever sees the little bratty shithead again he will have her arrested for disturbing the mother effen peace.

Mama Palin told Ryan that if he pisses her off she'll take her high-powered telescopic moose hunting rifle and turn him into a friggin soprano by golly gee willakurs ya betcha.

SIDENOTE: Ryan Seacrest called his good friend Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and told him that he wants him to ban every last one of the damn Palin females from ever setting foot in the state of California.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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