Written by Abel Rodriguez

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Saturday, 4 December 2010

image for The Rumor About Hulk Hogan and Adam Lambert
Hulk Hogan as he appeared in the 1997 movie, The Story of Wrestling Wanda.

SAN FRANCISCO - Former wrestling champion Hulk Hogan was in San Francisco attending a Former Stars of Wrestling Convention.

He was asked by a reporter for The Left Coast Tabloid newspaper about the recent allegations that he had been involved in some kind of gayish incident with the 2009 American Idol runner up Adam Lambert.

The Hulkster became quite upset and started huffing and puffing. He pounded his fist against the podium and then he picked up a folding chair and he hit himself on the head with it repeatedly.

He then jumped off the stage and grabbed the reporter identified as Moltenberry Babineaux, lifting him up in the air, and yelling out, "Lissen and lissen good punk, I did not French kiss Adam Lambert...Adam Lambert French kissed me ya got dat?"

Babineaux could not speak since Hogan had him by the neck. Babby, as his maternal grandmother Demi Fluckbitter calls him, nodded with his feet in the affirmative.

The Hulkster let him go and Babineaux hit the floor with a tremendous thud that one audience member described as somewhat thuddish in nature.

Babineaux quickly picked up his pen and notepad and left the building running faster than Kirstie Alley chasing after a box of donuts.

In a somewhat related story (kind of). Paris Hilton has stated that the rumor of her and Nancy Pelosi locking lips at a local KFC parking lot in Sausalito are totally without basis. Hilton said that she does not like older-as-hell women.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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