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Friday, 3 December 2010

image for Mike Shanahan: McNabb Cost Me My Record Of 26 Seasons Without a Black Quarterback.

Mike Shanahan is not angry at Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb because he is a big fat oaf, or is a terrible leader, or because he can't throw two accurate passes in a row. Instead, his frustration comes from McNabb breaking his NFL-record 26 consecutive seasons as a coach or coordinator without fielding a single black starting quarterback.

Is this sh-t true?

Yup. Except for Jarious Jackson, who threw four passes for 41 yards in one game in 2003, no black quarterback even threw a pass for a team for which Mike Shanahan was employed. Explain that, people who don't believe him to be bigoted.

"My dad's been a coach in this league since 1984 and he's avoided the 'Doug Williams' situation until this year," said 28-year-old Kyle Shanahan, the Redskins offensive coordinator who definitely didn't get his job through nepotism, referring to former Redskins' QB Doug Williams, the first black quarterback to play in the Super Bowl.

Indeed, beginning his NFL coaching career as wide receivers coach of the Denver Broncos in 1984, and all through stints with the (then Los Angeles) Raiders and 49ers, no black quarterback has ever taken the field if Shanahan was on the sidelines.

"I haven't really had the chance to coach a black quarterback," Shanahan said during a keynote speech to the NAACP, which he was tricked into attending. "I've only coached John Elway, Gary Kubiak, Ken Karcher, Jay Schroeder, Steve Beuerlein, Steve Young, Jay Cutler, Jake Plummer, Danny Kanell, Brian Griese, Gus Frerotte, Chris Miller, Bubby Brister and Bill Musgrave, so no real chance."

Despite Shanahan's claim, some NFL historians believe that his record-setting bigotry actually ended in 2003.

"In 2003, Shanahan's Broncos ran out of quarterbacks," said NFL historians Punk Berryman and Guy Chamberlin. "In week 12, Jake Plummer broke his foot, Steve Beuerlein broke a finger and Danny Kannell was sick with the flu."

"Shanahan tried to talk (then 43-year-old) John Elway out of retirement, who refused," continued Berryman. "The only QB available on waivers was Jarious Jackson, who was black. Shanahan signed him, and he played in one game."

"Bullsh-t!" screamed Shanahan in response. "He didn't f--king start the game. "(Punter) Jason Elam lined up behind center on our first play, so he was the starting QB. The nig-nog came on after that."

"Do you know how hard it is to be a racist in this league," said Shanahan. "Bigots like me are dropping like flies. I just might be the last racist in the NFL."

(Ed: Sadly, not by a long shot.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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