Huntington, West 'By God!' Virginia Sheriff's Department today confirmed that hell raising former Jesuit priest Monsignor Francois DuBois has been placed under house arrest again.
Mainly for being 'meddlesome' and 'causing trouble.'
This isn't the first time the miscreant, DuBois, has come to the attention of authorities.
It's believed that the latest unsavoury incident involving DuBois and his out of control sidekick, Bert, involved a biker gang and a hippy being terrorised by the pair in a McDonald's drive thru in the city.
Witnesses reported that DuBois and Bert, both riding mobility scooters, knocked over a number of Harley Davidson's before cornering the hippy and challenging him to a fist fight in a nearby parking lot.
"Them dudes is plum crazy!" biker gang leader Georgie Grunge told Skoob News USA reporter, Clinton Marshmallow. "They come a runnin' at us like wild beasts on them thar 'lectric mobility things and knocked our gosh darned sickles over! We wuz petrimafied!"
The hippy - who hasn't been named was taken by ambulance to a nearby gas station/car wash, where he had to have his underwear jet-washed.
"Poor hairy guy never stood a chance," State Trooper Preston Guildhall told SNUSA. "I felt quite sorry for the skinny assed little bastard."
Witnesses told us that DuBois and Bert were finally taken down by a crack Philly SWAT and formation dancing team. Then placed under house arrest.
Shouting from a window, DuBois told us:
"This shit just ain't right! I served my goddamned country in its hour of need! And now Bert and i ain't allowed to bug the crap out some hairy assed bikers and a frickin' hippy! On our pimped up mobility scooters! Buncha bastards. Country's lost the Goddamned plot if'n you axe me."
DuBois went on to say that he was closing the window because he was busting for a great big shit. At which point, Bert mumbled something about gettin' the hell outa there.
More as we get it.