CHICAGO - An unnamed spokesperson for Wikileaks has just informed the main stream media that they have in their possession the one and only original President Barack Obama birth certificate.
The birth certificate which has been authenticated by the nation's foremost birth certificate authenticating firm of Dustbridge, Sharphaus, Shallowwood, & Patipsco of Casper, Wyoming is reportedly in mint condition.
The unnamed source says that contrary to popular belief, the president was not born in Hawaii, Kenya, or Costa Rica.
The birth certificate lists the hospital in which President Obama was born as St. Sweet Swedes General Hospital located in Uppsala, Sweden.
The father is listed as Willie Tyrone Obama, a black African-American negro, and his mother is listed as Inger Sarah Kuttlefoogin, a white Yugoslav sheep herder.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, and Ann Coulter have all requested that the birth certificate be released to them, but there just ain't no FRIGGIN way that that'll EFFEN happen!]