Written by Bureau
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Topics: Aliens, UFO, Wikileaks

Tuesday, 30 November 2010

image for WikiLeaks: Aliens Look Like Mummies Wrapped With Toilet Paper
Only Pic Of The UFO! CIA Missed It!

The aliens reported by hundreds of people in West Virginia near Huntington had the shape of humans only wrapped in something like toilet paper, reads a copy of WikiLeaks, released a few hours ago.

However, as usual, the US government hushed up the whole thing, stated that the photographs they lost were faked and that there are no Space Mummies.

Also, they report the ten missing agents as having gotten lost in an old mine which caved in and sealed them with some cement mixture they used for finding prints of the aliens.

"It's much too dangerous to ever go in there to find the bodies as there's now a mountain top on them."

But the locals (referred to as 'yokels' in the Wiki report) say that there were five spaceships that looked like a strong light and were hard to look at.

"We made contact", stated Chester "Cheesey" Simmons. "Those people from Washington don't know shit. That's how they lost those ten agents."

Chester claimed that he and Clem Ponce saw an alien approach a CIA agent who had to poop in the woods and when he got through, he reached over and, instead of getting leaves to clean himself, pulled off some tissue from the creature and wiped his butt with it."

Several others heard the commotion and came running over just in time to see the creatures vaporize the CIA agents.

"I reckon, when your skin is like toilet paper, it's the supreme insult for someone to use it to wipe their ass with."

This is Special Agent Tooter Day reporting from somewhere near Huntington, West Virginia for the West Coast Post.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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