Written by Morse
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Sunday, 28 November 2010

image for Willie Nelson Found in Undergroud Drug Tunnel with 10 Tons of Pot and "real big bong!"
Statue of "Willie" Nelson in his hometown of Austin, Texas!

US DEA and Border patrol agents arrested Country Folk Singer and 77 year old icon Willie Nelson when they found him sitting on bales of marijuana and strumming his guitar while singing "Hello Walls" in a sophisticated half mile tunnel leading from Mexico into Texas.

Wilson, who seemed dazed and confused, but still in key, said he was only in the tunnel because he was hired to perform during the afternoon siesta, and had no idea what all all the shrink wrapped packages lying about really were.

Authorities were amazed at the sophistication of the operation which saw the gang bring in the boring machine that was used during the great English Channel Tunnel caper connecting Britain to France, that other famous drug pipe line.

"They must have brought it in from Columbia in a million pieces and then reassembled it right under our noses" said Mexican General Felipe Guatemala from his armoured Aston Martin staff car.

DEA agent Mahmoud Fernandez said, "It was pretty awesome, Dude! They had a high speed rail line set up, a fleet of forklifts, and 3 freight elevators on the US side to bring the bales up 60 feet to a modern warehouse in a busy industrial park. The warehouse was bigger than 4 Super Wal Marts linked together, and trailer trucks could pull in under cover, get loaded, and be on their way to California in no time."

Mahmoud said the operation could have gone on for years without being detected, but suspicions were aroused shortly after Jerry "Moonbeam" Brown was re elected Governor of California.

"There were 18 wheelers with California plates lined up around the block idling all night," said another Agent identified only as "Angel". "We all know the folks from the left coast are a little weird, but no one can eat that much lettuce and tomatoes and still be that fucking fat...even in San Francisco!"

Willie was bailed on his own recognizance after he revealed he had to get back to rehearsal in anticipation of his appearance as the opening act for the upcoming Kate & Will nuptials that will be taking place on The Isle of Wight sometime next spring.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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