Written by Juvenal Delinquent
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Topics: Terrorism, FBI, Bombs, oregon

Sunday, 28 November 2010

image for 'Wannabe' terrorist just got Punk'd
Fake

PORTLAND-- Taking their cue from Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas.

Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19, a Somali-born U.S. citizen, mistakenly believed he was in contact with terrorists overseas who's stated goal is to kill followers of, "The Great Satan Claus." Little did he know that his contacts were, in fact, a band of merry FBI pranksters, a hilarious and secretive comedy troupe in the Counterterrorism Division. "We like to think of them as the Funny Bureau of Investigation", said Assistant Director James McJunkin.

The gag was the culmination of a long-term undercover ruse, at great taxpayer expense, in which the FBI practical jokers even went so far as to help build and detonate a 'test' bomb in a remote Oregon location to make it all look real.

"Mohamud the Moron, as we like to call him, just never had a clue", giggled one of the pranksters, who asked that we not reveal his identity due to ongoing practical jokes... err, investigations. It's a gag order.

For his part, Mohamud never knew what hit him until the dummy bomb failed to explode after using his cell phone to trigger it, at which point, the pranksters sent him a text saying, "you just got Punk'd!"

The unwitting dupe was quoted as saying, "Ashton Akbar!", upon discovering he'd been had.

For their part, the Portland police stated that, "the prank was real, but the public was never in any danger, real or otherwise", and then apologized for ruining the holiday cheer and, ironically, fulfilling the so-called terrorist's goal of putting on a "spectacular show."

Mayor Sam Adams, sipping on his favorite holiday porter added, "Mischievously clever federal, state and local law enforcement investigators caught a gullible wannabe tonight. The plot to bomb our city was fake but the idiot who tried to pull it off was as real as reality TV gets."

No word on whether or not the pranksters will try to pitch their idea to television producers (think Punk'd meets 24), but sources tell us the show would probably be a hit, as there are countless number of mentally ill to exploit for ratings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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