It was reported today by the press that President Barack Obama was "accidentally" hit in the mouth during a basketball game with family and friends at Fort McNair, a military post in Washington.
The ten person game was witnessed by several spectators and approximately eighty-five secret service agents, fourteen aides, seven cabinet administrative officers, three McDonald's carry out personnel and representatives from the Japanese Embassy and well as a contingency from South Korea.
The three McDonald's carry out personnel stated that they thought that they had heard a rifle shot that came from an RV parked in an adjacent parking lot.
Harley Johnson, from McDonald's stated, "I didn't see no one hit him in the mouth, there weren't no elbows within four feet of the guy they said was the President. I know I heard a shot coming from behind me and then this players head rears back. I knew he wasn't gonna eat his Big Mac now."
"The president received 12 stitches today, administered by the White House Medical Unit," White House spokesman Robert Gibbs said in a statement.
Several terrorist organizations are taking credit for the attempt on the President's life.
Assam Asham Abed, leader of one of the offshoot factions in Aman, stated, "Dey can try to cover up our attempt today, but we shoot footage from the RV dat was parked there. A strong wind from the East rocked the vehicle and made our man miss his shot. We are now glad he did, since we felt the wind from the East was an omen of some kind."
The President has cancelled all appearances for a short time, "Aw weel be bak speeking agin when ma lip ees beeter, whe is dat ice?" the President stated.