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Saturday, 27 November 2010

image for Lindsay Lohan Forced To Eat Tofurky With Father, Samantha Ronson as Punishment.
"I don't care if you are a rare albino turkey," said George Bush, in a threatening whisper. "You die today, f--ker."

Lindsay Lohan was forced to spend at least part of her Thanksgiving with father Michael Lohan and former boyfriend Sam Ronson as punishment by the Betty Ford Clinic.

That was the joke??

An eating Samantha Ronson joke?? "And the Tofurky was terrible too." Yeah, sorry. That was the best I could do, guys. Sorry. I'll make up for it with more hilarity this weekend, OK? Please don't give up on me, and please show your support by clicking on one of our advertiser's banners elsewhere on this page.

"Ms. Lohan violated some key Clinic policies," said 92-year-old Betty Ford, who is far more involved with the therapeutic aspect of its prisoners' recovery than she should be. "While she has been clean and sober the entire time, she has been become a complete attention-whore."

"I mean, even more than she was before," Mrs. Ford continued.

Lindsay Lohan originally wanted to spend the holiday in NY with mom Dina Lohan, who is 25% less of a sh-tty parent as compared to her father, convicted felon Michael.

That request was denied, so Lohan went with Plan B; spending it with Michael and ex-GF Samantha Ronson at Sam's $1200 a month one bedroom in West Hollywood.

What's worse is what she had to eat.

"God, it was nasty," said LiLo, interviewed before returning to Betty Ford. "It was chewy and slimy. It tasted vaguely like poultry, but... I don't know. It was f--king smelly and disgusting."

"And the Tofurky was terrible too."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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