WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the massive Midwestern heat wave subsided this week, another equally deadly weather pattern has formed over the nation's capital and its effects were felt as far south as Cape Canaveral, where NASA was forced to ground the shuttle fleet due to safety concerns.
Meteorologists were baffled as to how such a storm could form so quickly and move thousands of miles in a matter of minutes, but NASA engineers said the data was irrefutable: A mass of wispy half-truth cirrus clouds, low flying flip-flopper cumulous fog and threatening cumulonimbus Valerie Plame thunderheads had made their way to Southern Florida in the moments following the Discovery liftoff.
The launch of the Discovery shuttle - the fist such launch in the two-and-a-half years since the Columbia disaster - was at first called a resounding success by NASA engineers. However, footage of the launch taken by a collection of more than 100 digital cameras showed what appeared to be briefcase-sized debris coming within inches of the shuttle during liftoff.
Early calculations have the debris originating from the vicinity of Pennsylvania Avenue and not from the shuttle's main fuel tank as it was previously believed.
"We can say with some degree of certainty that the debris has indeed come from Washington in the form of shredded documents and White House surveillance tapes," said lead NASA engineer Dr. Chet Fule. "The BS has been flying out the White at such a feverish pace lately that it appears as though it has finally spilled over into the upper atmosphere."
The White House was quick to respond to the allegations, as Scott McClellan held an emergency press conference from from within his pillow fort, which now sported a new addition and an abundance of track lighting.
"It is unfortunate that NASA has become overrun with liberal, pinko-communists bent on smearing the president's good name," McClellan said. "Besides, it is near impossible that such BS could have escaped the White House and entered the general public because the official filter, FOX News, has been working overdrive in the past few weeks to end this silly Rove controversy and deliver fair and balanced truth to all Americans."