It may be the biggest shopping weekend of the year but the other celebrations will just have to wait awhile.
"We can't have sex without condoms", stated one customer for the sixth time since he arrived at a bar three hours ago and decided to stay and get really smashed.
"The pope gave permission to use condoms for the Catholics and there's not a condom left in the whole state from what the druggists tell me."
"Think about me", stated the guy at his elbow. "I got six kids already from 12 to 19. I can't sfford to start on another one."
"I...I gave in", came a voice from the floor. "Oh me, so help me I tried", he cried. "But she's preggers as sure as I'm laying her...here on this bar floor. She's got that buuuurrpp! scuse look, thash twinkle in her eye!"
Several regular patrons came in together that looked like that had been attacked by wildcats!
"You guys were at the mall when they opened the doors right?" asked the bartender.
"Wrong", stated the guy who had the hanging ear. "We were at the Rite Aid when they announced that the last shipment of condoms had arrived. Won't be anymore till next week."
"More like 'Freaky Friday' than Black Friday. My nose still crooked?", asked one of the other newbies.
All agreed that "Taking a shower in a raincoat' was a whole lot better than being horny as a goat and drunk as a skunk.
"Wonder if you snipped the fingers off a large-sized surgical glove?"