Philadelphia, PA - A Roman Catholic nun has become pregnant after a 'very intense' TSA grope session at the airport. Sister Maria, from Our Lady of Hysterical Weeping, is expecting a baby in June. Apparently a sperm cell was transferred to her womb from a TSA glove. Sister Maria says that she doesn't blame anybody, and plans to put the baby up for adoption.
Sister Maria says it all began when she was waiting in line for her flight to Key West, to visit her sick mother.
"It was a very nice flight, but a little unusual." said Sister Maria. "I think almost everyone taking the flight was gay." she whispered.
Sister Maria took the same flight to Key West as a group of transsexuals and transvestites. One of the transsexuals was 'pre-op' and had ejaculated on himself just before the TSA grope session.
"A nice lady from TSA frisked us all before the flight. I guess she thought we were all females. It was an honest mistake and I don't blame anyone." said the kindly Sister Maria.
The nun did note the groping was intense, and a little 'sticky'. Sister Maria said it bothered her a little when it was happening, so she said a few 'Hail Marys' the entire time.
"The lady from TSA did apologise for prodding me so deeply, she said it was her first day on the job." said Sister Maria.
"It was a very nice flight with the "ladies". Everyone was very sweet." she said with a smile. "We all sang songs from 'The Sound of Music'.
Sister Maria says she will follow the Church protocol for pregnant nuns. She hopes to give birth to a little boy.
"It was all just a Comedy of Errors. There's no one to blame." said the always cheerful Sister Maria. "Our Lord does have a very strange sense of humor!"