Kikatinalong,Kentucky, Nov.25. - In a packed town meeting here tonight, attended by almost the whole local population(37), Sarah Palin finally revealed her Presidential aspirations - but they are not what the town expected.
Palin began: "While watching Russia from my home in Alaska, I one day glanced to the left. Gazing over Japan my gaze fell on northern Korea and my mind went back to earlier days, days when the English were still sending white slaves to America, and the spirit of freedom was stirring."
At least 7 people jumped to their feet and applauded wildly.
When the commotion had died down she continued: "In those days, when friends were badly needed, the American Patriots knew they could rely only on the people of northern Korea to help them slip the chains of the tyrants. For all of the following 100 years, right up to the present day, North Korea has been our staunchest ally."
At this at least 11 people shouted and applauded, and old Granny Wilson dropped her knitting.
Once again the speaker resumed: "In the present climate of unrest North Korea, America's greatest ally, deserves and can count on our fullest support. But is this enough? I say NO!. We must do more! I have thence, or maybe hereafter, or even therefore, decided to sacrifice my amazing future in American jurisprudence and political fundamentalism to the good of our staunchest ally. I intend to run for President of the Commonwealth of North Korea."
At this the hall went wild, except for the men, who had slipped out the back to the still, and Granny Wilson, who still hadn't found one of her needles.
Concluding her address Ms. Palin said: "Recently when I was in New York City a Korean grocer told me that the WORLD needs leaders like me. Thinking about this expression of confidence I realised that America, with the G.O.P., has the strength to deal with the radical pinko leftists in the White House. My talents would be wasted here, but as President of our dear ally I could help them in their unceasable battle with those commie red Chinese people. This, it has been revealed to me, is the reason I am not on this planet. Thank you all and goodnight."
As Ms. Palin left the stage both of the remaining audience members cheered and applauded furiously, except for Granny Wilson who was still picking up her dropped stitches.