LAX - TSA officials announced today the opening of several "Sensual Pat Down" lines for adults only. A black velvet curtain surrounds the TSA agent and passenger while the search takes place.
Paris Hilton was caught sneaking back into the Sensual Pat Down (SPD) line 5 times as she killed time before her flight to London. "They have such good hands!" exclaimed Paris, "I am sooo going to enjoy this kind of search!"
Passengers going through the new pat down procedure reported a 100% improved attitude about pat downs and the TSA. Betty White was caught trying to a lure her TSA agent into a women's restroom for more, "serious action."
Passengers headed home to Thanksgiving are giving SPD 5 thumbs and saying thanks to the new TSA!!