Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Tuesday, 23 November 2010

image for M.C. Hammer's Hit Song "U Can't Touch This" Becomes The Anti-TSA Pat Down Anthem
A group of airline passengers in Atlanta waiting to get their wieners and biscuits patted down.

ATLANTA - The Transportation Security Administration has announced that they are not happy about the fact that M.C. Hammer's 1989 hit song "U Can't Touch This" has become the anti-TSA pat down anthem.

TSA spokesperson Clovis Baxter Shamnoodle stated that his agency has enough problems without now having to be the brunt of people's unhumoristic sense of humor.

Shamnoodle noted that airport passengers from the Right Coast to the Left Coast and down to the Third Coast are all starting to sing the M.C. Hammer hit while standing in line waiting to get their private parts patted down.

One passenger identified as Wainwright "Wiffy" Gandolfini, 51, of Rabbit Shuffle, North Carolina said that he was recently at Atlanta's Sherman's March To The Sea International Airport, when about two dozen tired and frustrated passengers started singing Hammer's song "U Can't Touch This."

Gandolfini said that several TSA agents yelled out for the people to stop singing that song and the group simply picked up the volume and actually doubled in size.

The TSA pat down agents were clearly angered and actually pulled out their handguns and pointed them towards the passengers and again demanded that they stop singing.

One of the passengers Roberta "Boobies" Spreadbird, 27, of Medicine Bow, Wyoming said that one agent actually threatened to shoot her in one of her size DD tits if she did not stop singing.

Spreadbird not only kept on singing but she took out her tambourine and began hitting it while other passengers sang and danced the samba, the cha cha cha, and the Charleston.

SIDENOTE: Roberta "Boobies" Spreadbird said that if TSA agents have the right to reach into her panties and touch her joybox (snatchola) then she has the right to play her mofoing tambourine and sing "U Can't Touch This" along with her fellow passengers.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 5 multiplied by 2?

5 10 14 13
48 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more