Dr. Billingsgate, the British born genius, known mostly for possessing 12 Doctorates from LaFontaine College in the Cayman Islands, using counterintuitive methods developed by him during the Cold War, completely baffled security agents who selected him for a body scan at LAX early Sunday morning.
Billingsgate created legendary Spy vs Spy technics and materials while working at the TOP SECRET "SKUNK WORKS," an unofficial Department of Defense facility where hydro-carbon compounds were developed and used to build the B-1 Bomber nearly 50 years ago. These materials made the bomber virtually invisible to radar when President Bush bombed Baghdad.
The good doctor was fully aware that during the Cold War, CIA agents would wrap their guns and other materials in Saran Wrap, making them totally invisible to Xrays. Now, with all the furor created by media over airport discovery methods, he wanted to prove how ineffective these machines are.
He said that he could barely keep a straight face when the stupified agent asked him where he was hiding his private parts. Billingsgate puckishly replied, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."