Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 22 November 2010

image for The Reasons Barbara Bush Wants Sarah "Snowflake" Palin To Keep Her Tea Bagging Tush Up In Alaska
A photo of Sarah Palin on her way to the grocery store. (Photo courtesy of Katie Couric).

HOUSTON - Barbara Bush, the wife of the 41st president of the United States, George H.W. Bush has stated publicly that she does not really care for the cartoon antics of Sarah Palin.

Mrs. Bush, who is 85, has stated that when it comes down to 'in the trenches' politics that Missy Palin (Sarah) has about as much business being in politics as Nancy Pelosi has working as a Hooters Girl.

Bush laughs as she says that Palin brags that she was the governor of the largest state in the nation. She then points out that Alaska is 95 percent ice, so if the state were to melt it would end up being one-tenth the size of the smallest state in the union Rhode Island.

Mrs. Bush then said that "Tundra Thighs" Palin has remarked that she is qualified to be the U.S. president because she governed all of the population of Alaska including the Eskimos, who traditionally do not vote, much less give a flying eff who this Palin broad is.

The wife of the 41st president then pointed out that the city of Austin, Texas has more people than the entire state of Alaska. So the 'leading a tremendous amount of folks' theory goes out the window like the practice of preventing pregnancy by merely withdrawing at the exact "Bingo" moment.

Mrs. Bush went on to say that she has read both of Palin's books and that she has never seen so many misspelled words, run-on sentences, historical anachronisms, geographical gaffes, fraudulent faux paus, bombastic boo boo's, or dangling participles in her 75 years of reading books.

Bush stated that she could not believe that seven times in her second book "Shotgun" Palin spelled the name of the city Indianapolis as Indianappleus.

The Alaskan wilderness woman also wrote in chapter six that there are nine great lakes when everyone, even a dumbass like Paris Hilton, knows that there are only five great lakes.

Barbara Bush was asked what she thinks of Bristol Palin's appearance on Dancing With The Stars. She rolled her eyes, cracked her knuckles, and said that if Bristol had to make a living out of dancing she would be on food stamps and live in a blithering wigwam, or since she's from Alaska a blithering igloo.

Mrs. Bush was asked for her opinion on the Tea Bag Party. She made a face, took a sip from her bottle of Geritol and replied, "Look, I have been around. I am a dedicated and devoted blue-haired old GOP gal and proud of it. I have never liked splinter groups in any field of endeavor whether they be the KKK, the NAACP, the GAYS, or 'NSYNC.

She then said that she would like to see "Dog Sled" Palin and her spoiled daughters Bristol "The Pistol" and Willow "The Pillow" stay away from the 'Lower 48' and just keep their egotistical cartoon tushes up in the Iceberg State.

SIDENOTE: Barbara Bush said that she would rather see Senator John "The Poker" Edwards run on the presidential ticket with Governor Mark "The Poker" Sanford than to see that silly Russian immigrant clown "Saracuda" Palin sitting on the White House back porch taking shots at birds and squirrels.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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