The comedy of errors continued today as brain dead TSA workers, most who have been refused gainful employment due to learning disabilities or criminal history, managed to shut down SF International Airport over a Bogus Terror Bomb Alert!
According to travelers on site, and caught up in the drama, a noted International
porn actor, who can not be named because he has dual UK/US citizenship, created the early morning mayhem as his 'junk' was being scanned by bored, but lacivious, airport workers whose only prerequisite for the job was that they owned an X-box.
While first awed by the veritable size of the star's 'junk', amazement soon turned to horror when the reverse side of the scan showed what appeared to be a fuse jutting from the nether regions of the traveller.
Pushing the panic button, Jamilla Shawana BaBaTuTu, on her first day on the job, immediately caused the air port to go into automatic shutdown, summoning on site SWAT teams, the bomb squad, anal sniffing dogs, and the gay mayor of San Francisco who was eager to make the 6 o'clock news.
During a full body and cavity search conducted in the bomb proof portable
naked vault on wheels designed especially for such occasions, a proctologist trained in removing rectal bomb implements, was shocked and surprised to find the fuse was actually the tail of a very live and active Gerbil!
The San Francisco animal rights league and homeless Gerbil Shelter, although inundated with abandoned Gerbils, did take the animal in saying, "Hey..when you look at these little fellas and their shit eating grin, how can you refuse
to provide a more stable homelife and shelter!"
The nonplussed actor, showing the typical British upper lip, appeared unperturbed as he was permitted to continue his travel plans back to the UK where it was said he was headed to receive a humanitarian award from the Queen, and be appointed to the House of Lords by a Bi-Sexual Coalition heading the financially strapped kingdom.