WOODSIDE, California - 1960s folk music icon Joan Baez loves sitting in her backyard meditating and singing up in a 20-foot high tree house which she built by herself with the help of a Home Depot Do-It-Yourself instruction pamphlet.
Baez says that recently she has written some very inspirational songs while in the tree house including "Hey Bro, Sorry To Say That You Ain't Touchin' My Junk Punk" and a follow up song, "I've Got A Sensitive Bladder So I Suggest You Just Look At My Bearded Clam And Not Touch It Or You'll End Up With A Handful Of Pee Hee-Hee."
Joan said that she has shopped the two songs around and that it looks like the first one will be recorded by Justin Bieber and the second one will be recorded by Ke$ha.
Baez who back in the day was like an Arkansas sister to the likes of Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, and Pete Seeger stated that Dylan still comes by once in a while to shoot the (shinola) with her.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Not many people know this but Joan was Bob Dylan's inspiration for the song "Blowing In The Wind." Bobby said that back them Joanie was known as The Queen of Fell*tioville.]
Joan used to perform a lot of her concerts a cappella due to the fact that she has always been extremely forgetful and she would often forget to take her guitar to her concerts.
Baez is currently resting comfortably at The Sisters of St. Celluloid Hospital in Hollywood where she was rushed after falling out of her tree house.
An unnamed source stated that Joan was in the tree house writing a song about the egotistical Palin women, Sarah, Bristol, and Willow, when a flock of crazed hummingbirds suddenly flew into the tree house causing her to loose her balance and fall 20 feet to the ground.
Lucky for her she landed on her swimming pool attendant Roscoe Scruffbarker and did not receive more serious injuries than she did.
The attending physician Dr. Denzel Muchmeister said that she bruised her right clavicle, sprained her left knee, and scratched the hell out of both of her ovaries, but that she should be released within two or five days.
Joan Baez and Bob Dylan are both 69. Roscoe Scruffbarker is 49. And Dr. Denzel Muchmeister is 29.