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Thursday, 18 November 2010

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Alien Proof

Rumors of a startling discovery may soon be released to the public that are going to have a monumental effect on the country and the entire world.

To gain entry into the "Hub" room at the White house there are a number of security protocol procedures that must be followed. First is a visual scan by a VISA SCAN unit, then an x-ray type procedure, similar to that now used in airports, then an eye scan, and the final step utilizing a T-Scan 185 unit, which analyzes a thumb print.

Barack Obama has been in the room many times, always being preceded by his top aide, Leroy Farnsworth, who would go through the scanning process, receive authorization, and then hold the door open for the president, a procedure that went into effect on the first day of his presidency. Obama made it clear that his "Open Door" Policy actually meant that someone would always open the door for the President.

On one of his brief appearances at the White House a few days ago, the president wanted to check out his Facebook page and needed to gain access to the "Hub" room, where the computers are located.

Security Guard Amir Rajizeen related to the Chief of Security, Ahmed Bazzeen, "He passed the visual scan, then the X-ray, stuck his eye up there and it passed and then I seen him put his thumb on that T-Scan 185 and all hell broke loose, bells rang, whistles started blaring, flashing lights, the whole damn board lit up, and then I looked over at the T-Scan 185 and I couldn't believe my eyes, his damn thumbprint was blue, yeh, that's right, blue. I think he is an alien or something like that."

Amir was instructed to say nothing about the incident, but after evening prayers at his Mosque he was talking with some other Taliban members and related it to them. They all expressed deep concern over the development as they felt that Obama was "one of them," and not of another planet.

Shazire Assan stated, "Just when I thought we had it all going for us, something like this comes up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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