Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson To Star In The Movie, "The Pat Down Dudes Of LAX"
The director of LAX is expecting each flight on Nov. 24 to be delayed for about six hours due to the 'Pat Down' rule.

LOS ANGELES - Cripple Creek Pictures in association with Lions Face Films and the G-Spot Motion Picture Company has just announced that they will soon begin production on the Transportation Security Administration themed film The Pat Down Dudes of LAX starring Taylor Lautner and Robert Pattinson.

The movie will be filmed on location at the Los Angeles International Airport, whose three-letter official airport designation code is LAX.

Noted Italian director Benigo Luigi Montemarciano will be directing the movie which will co-star Keira Knightley, Kiefer Sutherland, Kate Gosselin, Kirstie Alley, and in a cameo role as himself Salvatore Goombalini of New York's infamous Goombalini Mafia Family.

The movie will follow the day to day lives of pat down security inspectors Oregano Dockerbush (Lautner) and Hickory Pitpassion (Pattinson).

Lautner told Evelyn Tammy Quillhoop, a reporter for Left Coast Mirror Magazine that he and Pattinson trained for three days with Conway "Silk Hands" Muffowitz, who is regarded as one of the best pat down security inspectors in the entire state of California.

Pattinson noted that Muffowitz is so good and so quick that most people do not even realize that he has checked out and felt their diddly dippers and bikini tacos before they even had a chance to think that they were feeling uncomfortable.

One passenger, Agatha Beulah Pillbutter, 52, from Tortilla Flat, Arizona stated that Muffowitz felt her up front and back twice and she did not even know it.

She said that the only reason she knows that Muffowitz did his complete pat down job was because her nephew Ticky Bobby Pillbutter, 8, filmed the whole thing (no pun intended) with his cell phone camera.

The Pat Down Dudes of LAX will be released on Valentine's Day.

OTHER FILMS BY DIRECTOR BENIGO LUIGI MONTEMARCIANO:

  • The Teenage Hotties Vs. The Vuvuzela Vampires, starring Justin Bieber, Brenda Song, and Demi Lovato
  • The Louisiana Tar Balls,* starring Zac Efron, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner
  • The Panting Pink Panther, starring Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, and Camilla Parker-Bowles

* The theme song for Louisiana Tar Balls entitled "Balls Of Tar From Louisiana" was written and performed by Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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