Written by Abel Rodriguez
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for Palin Daughters, Willow and Bristol Have Become The Anti-Gay "Twittering Twits"
The view from the Palin's master bedroom. (NOTE: Russia is about 900 miles beyond the tree on the left).

WASILLA - It appears that the Palin family is trying to take over the electronic media as now Willow, who is 16, has taken to Twitter to defend the Palin's new reality show, Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska.

Willow has gotten into it with several fellow Alaskans who wrote that they did not like the Palin's reality show because it made them seem like they were the greatest, most popular, and most interesting family in the entire 50th state.

One individual who goes by the name of corkyeskimoboy wrote that the only reason the Palin's have a show is because Sarah Palin begged the executives at TLC to showcase her and her perfect family (Sarah's words).

Willow fired back by calling him an effeminate version of the Dancing With The Stars judge Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli.

Corkyeskimoboy responded by saying that the Palin's are far from perfect since Bristol got knocked up by her boyfriend Levi Johnston, who then dumped her for Kathy "The Cougar Bitch" Griffin.

He then wrote that Sarah, aka The Grizzly Mama, helped Senator John McCain lose the presidential election because she kept saying stupid things like she could see Russia while sitting on her bathroom toilet, Africa is a country in South America, and kangaroos go around picking each others pockets.

Willow responded by saying that corkyeskimoboy is a sissy fairy who probably rides moose side saddle and no doubt drinks pink colored alcoholic drinks.

She also said that her big sister Bristol has more armpit hair than he does and that her mother is such a powerfully secure woman that she can stand out in the backyard and pee standing up while eating a caribou brisket sandwich.

Another individual who goes by the name salmonfishingguy wrote that the Palin sisters look like bargain basement versions of the Kardashians. He then stated that Bristol couldn't dance her way out of a Flagstaff fog and that Willow needs to stop using construction paper as pantiliners.

Willow wrote back saying that salmonfishingguy probably wears his mother's bras since his sentence structure certainly shows that he is most definitely a pantiwaisted pansy.

She noted that he needs to move to San Fransissyco and open up a dildo rental shop.

SIDENOTE: Willow and Bristol have now become known as "The Twittering Twits." One thing about the two Palin sisters. They will certainly never be confused with the Olsen twins.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 5 plus 2?

6 2 7 9

Go to top