Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 November 2010

image for Dancing With The Stars Shocker Of The Season: Brandy Norwood Eliminated, Bristol Palin Makes It To The Finals
Ozzy Osbourne, his wife Sharon, and their daughter Kelly have each bet $7,000 that Bristol will win the Mirror Ball Trophy.

HOLLYWOOD - In what is definitely the most shocking results show in the entire eleven season history of the Dancing With The Stars, singer Brandy Norwood has been eliminated from the show.

Brandy, who at 91 pounds, is the lightest celebrity to ever dance on the show had been favored by many to make it all the way to the finals and possibly even win the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy, but alas that was not meant to be.

And there is no one who was more shocked than Bristol "The Pistol" Palin who reportedly weighs about 179 pounds. She told her dance partner Mark Ballas, who likes to perform without a shirt, that prior to the results show that she felt that she would probably be getting back into her truck and driving on back to Alaska.

Ballas laughed and told her that he knew in his heart that she would make it to the finals since she is being backed by the members of her mother's Tea Bag political party, who are known as the 'Teabaggers' and who love to vote for anyone named Palin.

Sarah "Snowflake" Palin was asked what she thought about her little girl beating out Brandy, who is a fantastic dancer. Mama Palin replied, "Well golly gee, ya know, my little Bristy has in just a few short weeks become one gosh darn hellacious dancer and she can hold her own with anyone including professional frickin dancers like Cheryl Burke, Lacey Schwimmer, Chelsea Hightower, and Anna Trebunskaya."

She also pointed out that Mark has convinced Bristol to dress a lot more provocatively and to show some cleavage and thigh and to wear tight-fitting shorts that clearly show the outline of her happy valley (wonky wonk).

DWTS host Tom Bergeron was asked by a reporter for The Tarzana Tribune Times if he really felt that Bristol was a better dancer than Brandy. Bergeron blushed and said that at this point it is no longer about one dancer being better than another dancer, but more about one dancer being able to get more votes than another dancer.

Judge Len "The Old Grouch" Goodman added that Bergeron was correct and that at this stage of the competition, someone like 604 pound Gabourey Sidibe could conceivably beat out Jennifer Grey if she happens to get more viewer votes.

SIDENOTE: Bristol's three biggest fans are her mom and dad followed by season nine's third place contestant Kelly Osbourne. In fact Kelly has stated in strictest confidence that her and her mom, Sharon and her father Ozzy Osbourne have each bet $7,000 that Bristol will win the Mirror Ball Trophy.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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