Written by Spicewood
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010

image for Diabolical Plot Uncovered
Diabolican Terrorist Envelope

Bedbug sniffing dogs, during a routine search of the Zawahee Shipping Company warehouse in New Jersey, discovered a shipment of multi-colored greeting card envelopes, destined for the Al Ahamaamad Printing Company. The envelopes were embedded with bedbug larvae.

The larvae, when tested by the New Jersey CSI Laboratory, were all estimated to hatch around the middle of December, during the height of the holiday season.

The impact of all of those envelopes, coming into contact with other envelopes at the various post offices around the country during the holiday season, would be devastating.

It was detected that each envelope had a slight opening in the lateral crease of the dorset side of the envelope, in which some of the larvae could escape and spread to other envelopes. Microsccopic inspection revealed that each envelope contained 2000 larvae which could spread to other envelopes. The shipment contained well over 3 million envelopes. The most diabolical part of the operation was that somehow, subliminal suggestions had been placed in the manda side of the bedbug brain, and that upon release from the envelope, the larvae would either seek another envelope, or go to bed.

Bill Zimmer, handler of the bedbug sniffing dog commented, "I have only had my dog for a few months now, but man, during that time he has found those damn things everywhere. It wasn't easy to train him to sniff out bedbugs, they don't give off a lot of scent. It almost takes a group of three or four of them to get together for old Ruff to smell them little critters. But just this one "BBF" (Bed Bug Find) as we call them, has been worth it."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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