Written by Bureau
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Topics: Dogs, Cats

Saturday, 13 November 2010

image for Why Cats Drink With Bottom Of Tongue, Dogs Eat Shit And Don't Die!
(I Wonder If That Frozen Turd Is Clean?)

In a $500,000 study lasting ten years and performed by three U.S. scientists, we have finally found why the chicken crosses the road. I'm sorry, that's the NEXT ten year study. Here we learn that cats and dogs are different.

"Cats", reported Doctor Heimin Whistler, "use the BOTTOMS of their tongues to pick up the water, lapping it into their mouth. That's what one scientist reported in 1940 and with today's slow-down photograph technology, we have confirmed it."

"Where dogs and other animals scoop up the water, cats bow their tongue like so", stated Dr. Peter Fungus. "That is why we call their drinking "dainty" as it takes longer but they are usually looking up also, in case there is an enema about. That's a-right? Enema? Enemy! Pardon!"

The group say that dogs just stick their head in a commode and lap it down.

Why dogs eat shit and don't die?

After comparing notes, the three have come to the conclusion that over time, dogs who drank outside below outhouses became used to the taste of shit. Also, they developed an immunity a little at a time. The same holds true of a commode sometimes containing a floater or two.

The third member of the group asked not to be identified as he submitted the same questions to himself as how it affects humans. Also, that he wasn't feeling well.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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