Several weeks ago, when I wrote about summertime and the impeachment of George W. Bush on June 16th, I was just kidding, I swear. The problem is I'm really too busy to continuously write about an impeachment of George Bush right now and will be until the middle of August. Therefore, I am calling on restraint from the Democratic Party when addressing the treasonous issue of President Bush's Deputy Chief of Staff Karl Rove and his naming of undercover CIA agent Valerie Plame. After all, Mr. Rove was not trying to destabilize the United States; at least not more than he's already done. He was only engaging in petty revenge against his political enemies. That's not a crime, that's just your run of the mill Republican politics. Ms. Plame's outing was more of a governmental friendly fire thing than out and out criminality.
It would be better for all concerned...alright, it would be better for me...if any serious talk of putting Mr. Rove behind bars or impeaching his boss could be put off until September. I know earlier I said mid August, but I was hoping to get away with the wife for a couple weeks. Let's say just after the Labor Day weekend NPR and the Washington Post could start really hitting hot and heavy about the Plame affair, the Downing Street Memo and oh, I don't know, allegations that George W. Bush is a closet cross-dresser. Better yet, Laura is a closet cross-dresser. It has to be something that would alienate the Fundamentalists since it's obvious that lying, cheating, stealing and Preemptive Liberations don't bother them at all.
In addition, Autumn is so much cooler and I can write out on the back deck without sweating my tail off with all the bugs and things. That would be nice, bringing down a government while the leaves turned red and gold and a cool breeze blew. Plus I love jackets and sweaters and while I typed I could occasionally glance over at my reflection in the French doors and see how great I look in suede.
Perhaps those of you who don't know me might read this and think I'm a narcissistic, spoiled old man, demanding to slow the march of freedom in order to get some work done and a few weeks off. Right on all counts. But remember this, while you turkeys were polling George W. Bush in the high eighties for whacking Iraq my editorial colleagues and I were slaving away trying to have our little Texas Turncoat and his cronies drawn, quartered and ridden out of Washington on a rail. I've waited for four and a half years for this; you can sue me for wanting things done on my schedule for once.
That said, I'm not sure who you call to get the scheduling done...is it Justice or the FBI or Hillary Clinton? If any of you out there know, please email me or respond to our letters to the editor link. Remember, I'm completely tied up till August fifteenth or twentieth. Wait, I have an idea. My birthday is in the beginning of October. If we could indict Bush by the first week of September, get the Saturday Massacre over by the twentieth at the latest, then I could get a resignation as a present and believe me, I'll never ask for anything ever again. I promise.