Written by K.C. Bell
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 14 July 2005

image for Karl Rove To Resign
It was the onion dip.

Washington insiders claim Karl Rove will resign and announced that he misled the nation all of these months by not speaking the truth sooner. Mr. Rove insisted, however, that he should not be frog marched out of the White House, as former Ambassador Joseph Wilson suggested. Certainly, Mr. Rove had nothing to do with outing a CIA operative, though the operative's husband was critical of the President's State of the Union speech.

Mr. Rove's crime, if it can be called a crime, is that he double dipped at a White House Christmas party three years ago. Really. His lawyer insisted his intention was never to spread bacteria, just have a second helping of onion dip. Rove is hoping for a strong defense by Tom Cruise, similar to the one he muscled against Brooke Shields. "Cod liver oil and Hazelnuts, and she would have been singing in the rain, stomping a flash dance, baking cookies and not drug dependent. I know about these things." The Cruise defense machine has replaced the Swift Boat Veterans.

Meanwhile, Bob Woodward spoke with a White House insider whose undercover name is, High Brow. Meeting at midnight in a D.C. car wash and wearing Cavalli, High Brow said, "The ring is in the fire." The meaning of this cryptic message clearly translates: Rove's goose is cooked because the onion dip wasn't really that tasty. "What it needed was freshly chopped Hazelnuts and cilantro. I know about these things."

Speculation and intrigue also grow about Judith Miller's decision to protect her White House source, saying if she revealed the source's identity, she could lose a valuable source. Yeah? So? If a source commits a felony when giving information, what's to protect? Or does that make the journalist a co-conspirator? "You're talking cabbages and kings, and the thinking is scrambled. A tall glass of alfalfa juice and cashews will clear the mind. Trust me."

Some journalist's view her position with severe skepticism and do not share her reservations or integrity. A choice between the slammer or the source? Easy. No problem. Here's the source: It was W. Next story.

However, now you get into the question of the true meaning of the letter, W? And, What did the President know and when did he know it? Does anyone hear someone swinging in the wind? Pass the Hazelnuts.

Read more by this author:

Make K.C. Bell's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 2 plus 2?

1 4 19 18
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top