Written by Q. William Bacon
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Thursday, 11 November 2010

image for Tea Party Supports NASA Expedition to Underside of Flat Earth
(map courtesy of Discovery Institute)

Newly elected Tea Party Congressmen intend to fund a NASA project that will use advanced space technology to observe the opposite side of our flat planet for the first time.

Senator Jim DeMint (R-SC) stated, "I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of sending a man over the horizon to explore the underside of the Earth and then returning him safely to the top.

"Who can predict what such a mission would discover? A fiery volcanic hell? An enormous turtle that holds up the planet? An upside-down civilization of possum-people? The mission's importance to science is incalculable."

Critics have pointed out that, viewed from space, the Earth is obviously round. "This is a common misconception," explains Dr. Bruce Chapman, geodimensions expert at the Discovery Institute in Seattle, WA, USA. "However, Einstein revealed that the gravity of a planet is strong enough to bend light rays. Thus, to an observer in space, the Earth looks curved only because the light reflected from Earth has been curved by the Earth's own gravity. Are you going to argue with Einstein?"

Critics have also asked how the unprecedented mission will be paid for. DeMint says, "NASA will have plenty of money after we cancel all the satellite missions measuring global temperature, atmospheric carbon, changing weather patterns, sea levels, deforestation, etc. Global warming is a fantasy. It's just silly to have satellites over the Arctic looking for melting glaciers and drowning polar bears. Though it would be awesome to get some aerial images of Santa's village."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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