From making him choke on a pretzel to cajoling him into starting a wildly unpopular war, former President George W. Bush places the blame of his less than stellar presidency on his Vice-President, Dick "Numnutz" Cheney.
Bush's mildly anticipated memoirs, "Decision Points," finally went on sale and sales were being reported as brisk. However, when compared to the book signings of Sarah Palin, booksellers were wont to come up with a less-positive sales adjective. Still, there was enough dirt dished in the book to rouse quite a few curious supporters as well as detractors into purchasing a copy.
Several leaks of what was in the memoirs had been reported prior to the book's release, but nothing could prepare the public for the bravado Bush showed in finally telling the truth about how he felt about his vice president (that's small 'v' small 'p' no hyphen).
One such passage in the book stated "Dick was a real rabble rouser. Had I known that from the git-go, there would have been no Gitmo." Other startling confessions has Bush blaming Cheney for his infamous choking on a pretzel to putting up that ridiculous sign "mission accomplished" on the destroyer ship which ultimately led to the American public finally realizing the war was based on lies.
"Yes, there were no weapons of mass destruction," said Bush in a recent interview. "Happy now?"
It has been rumored that prior to Bush's memoirs being released, extra secret servicemen have been assigned to guard his home and his family. Said Bush's publicist, "We're not taking any chances. Dick Cheney loves to wage war, whether it is on a national level or on a more personal level."
While President Bush claims he is no longer scared of Dick Cheney, he is still taking the necessary precautions to protect his life and limb from the man who, in Bush's own words, "really screwed with my head for eight years, man."